


A Raccoon by Any Other Name...

by Marta_Ayanami



Series: The young alchemist was scared to dream anew, perhaps. [1]
Category: Tangled: The Series (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Just a quickie during work break, Past pet or rather friend OC headcanons, Pet headcanons, Quirin is the only adult in this room, Takes place a week after What the Hair, This is also why Varian never directly kidnapped Raps, and he is NOT agreeing to adopting old friend's daughter, has his hands full with one son already, no quality sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 22:57:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: So apparently pests need names now. Alright? He's a good subject, he'd never disobey a direct order from his very Princess.Though, has she really come to him, or has he dreamt it up?After asking his father, he now knows she really did. Amazing! And just to visit him, not for her hair. Best day of his life. Dad should've woken him up, how inconsiderate of him.





	A Raccoon by Any Other Name...

This time, the princess walked inside carefully, mindful of any possible traps. She met Quirin in the doorway, who gave her a bit bow and then glanced behind - ooh.

The young alchemist was asleep asleep at his desk. Now Rapunzel knew the reason for Quirin's silence when greeting her. She cooed, that was so sweet! She put a finger to her lips and nodded, she didn't come here to wake Varian up for no reason, she could wait!

Qurin bowed again, nodded and left the Lab.

And Rapunzel sat down on a chair, waiting.

She must've dosed off as well - were there some vapours of sleep potions in here or what - or she wouldn't have such a rude awakening when something suddenly jumped on her, startling her awake.

"Rude!" she exclaimed, almost falling off the chair. It was evening now, she must've slept for at least two hours! She still felt very dazed, confused, and not quite sober. Has she eaten something weird? The strangest thing was that she was now covered in very warm blankets. And so was Varian at his desk.

In the Tower, if she went to sleep with no cover, she woke up with no cover. In the castle, it was different. And slowly - and painfully, because the implication _hurt_ _-_ she's been learning what it meant. _affection. Care._ However, Varian's been asleep this whole time, so who else in this house could possibly care for her? Mister Quirin didn't seem to like her. He looked at her as if she was a ladder or a black cat. (Pete, the guard, told her about such beliefs recently).

What startled her awake was...oh, just a raccoon. Oh, the same raccoon as a week ago. So now was her second time meeting Varian and the second time meeting his 'pest', too. Or was it pest without an 's' now, she thought, giggling.

The raccoon apparently didn't mind the insult. It just stared at her curiously, sniffing her hair.

Varian suddenly woke up, or at least the princess was almost sure he did, seeing as he instinctively burrowed himself deeper in blankets, opened his eyes, and muttered, "Nope. Error. Not 'rude', it's 'raccoon'. Procyon lotor. Native to New World. Herbivore. Or omnivore? Drat. Can't rememberzzzz."

Rapunzel blinked, marvelling at her new friend's uncanny ability of dozing off in the middle of a scientific sentence.

Owl was Owl, so was Raccoon just going to be named Raccoon? Rapunzel decided to take a pity on him.

"How about Rudolf?" she asked the raccoon, who was now trying to take Varian's goggles off, and finally suceeded, revealing more hair than the princess suspected. Maybe she should wear goggles herself! Whoever said they do nothing (maybe it was Cass?) was clearly wrong.

The raccoon nodded, grinning.

Varian fully (maybe??? His eyes were almost asleep, but there was so much energy in his movements, he _couldn't_ be asleep) woke up with the suddeness that surprised her, and screamed directly in her face, with a burst of violent passion which slightly shocked her, "No!! Now that's just wrong! Rudolf is no raccon, Rudolf, Rudolf is a red nosed reindeer!!! Reindeers are important, because they look almost like horses, and horses...Have I ever met one more than fleetingly??? Er, what was I saying... Anyway!!! Rudolf would be a hhhreindeer!! Where you living under a rock??!!!"

Rapunzel gritted her teeth, took a deep breath, and screamed, "No!!!! But I lived in a secluded Tower!!!!"

***

When Qurin dashed inside, he saw two children - his and his old friend's, first blink at each other in amazement, then high-five each other, saying, in unison, "This the first time I could get in someone's face with no consequences!"

Quirin shook his head, coughed to get their attention, and said, "Everything has consequences--"

But the kids interrupted him, awwing and saying, again in unison, and pointing at each other, looking still half-asleep (just how much of that sleep potion (the 87th one, _this one will cure your insomnia for sure, father! - Varian, you needn't - For sure, I promise!_ ) had his son cooked up the other night for it to pollute the whole lab?) and dazed, but very energetic nontheless, "Yes, there are. I'm keeping it and naming it Fluffy."

Quirin sighed. These children would be the end of him, he was pretty sure.

He shook his head. "Nobody's keeping Varian."

"Awww. Can I at least keep Rudolf?"

"Reindeer," Varian pointed out, before flopping on the desk, asleep again.

"Ryan? Rhys? Ralph? Mister Quirin, maybe you think of something!"

"Ruddiger", Quirin offered at random, and then startled at uttering the name for the first time in forever, rubbing his forehead and wondering if a cursed princess in one's wife's former alchemy workshop, now his son's, classified as a good or bad onen.

Ruddiger jumped ono Quirin's shoulder, and made himself so comfortable there that the man didn't even have a heart to throw him out a window as one should with any pest. He really was becoming too soft.

****

"Father, did the princess really come here yesterday?"

"Yes, she has. And you can keep Ruddiger, but you can't keep Her Highness. Understood?"

Varian's whole face brightened.

"Dad, you're the best! And I won't keep Rapunzel, because she's already been kept for 18 years and that's just too sad."

"Exactly. Good, you understand."

"And it's not like she can even do any tricks, not anymore", Varian added, as if that was the strongest argument against princess-keeping.

"Exactly," Quirin replied, exasperated. Worst of all, he's accidently named some pest after Ruddiger. Ruddiger, who had been a wonderful and loyal horse. He really doubted some half-wild raccoon could live up to such a name.

Well. He could only hope that Varian, without knowing the significance, might dislike the name and change it.

"Dad, I don't know what story 'Rudiger' is from, but the way you say it sounds sooo cool, like it might be one of Flynnigan Rider's friends or something. So I guess the Raccoon's gonna stay Ruddiger, if you don't mind!"

Quirin wasn't sure what to say, so he could only nod. So. Heroic raccoon, huh? Probably not. Well, knowing Ruddiger, he wouldn't have been offended anyway. That horse had a sense of humour. He remembered now how much his son loved Ruddiger, so it truly was a shame that that the boy couldn't remember him - but that's how it the way it had to be. Trauma, the medics called it. 

"Fine, son. But if he's Ruddiger, you've got to teach him not to steal. Ruddiger never stole. Also, he should be loyal."

Varian nodded, now brimming with joy, as if Quirin had anything to do with the new pet being here - when that was all on Varian.

****

Varian hummed while trying to get Ruddiger potty trained. It was really necessary, as he knew from experience that mixing urine with some chemicals could prove slightly explosive.

_Ruddiger, huh? For some reason, that name makes me feel warm and safe. Nostalgic and -- aching, a bit but. Not that much. Loss? But with no memory of loss? Guilt? No, I would have remembered, no guilt if there's no memory. And so, it's fine now._

_But mostly, safe._

"Listen up, Raccoon! From now on, you're Ruddiger. No, no headpats till you're trained"


End file.
